Sunday, January 13, 2013

6 more weeks....of this?

Today consisted of the following:

Slept in until noon which means I slept for about 12 hours.  I didn't want to get up today... because if it was anything like yesterday, I didn't want the day to happen.  I knew I had to get up though.

My mind tends to block out times where I'm in excruciating pain so I don't remember most of the day. I just know that it was awful from the start.  There was one time in the day where I felt "good" enough to shower (we finally got a bath mat so I didn't fall out of the shower this time!) and to unpack a box in my room.  Unpacking that box took about an hour and a half because I had to keep sitting down and giving myself 20 minute breaks.  :-/

I honestly don't think I've cried this much since my Mom died 7.5 years ago.   It seems like every hour now I break down in tears.  I honestly have no idea how I'm going to get through the next 6 weeks.  I'm especially terrified of what will happen when Gage goes back to work next week. He starts his new job on the 21st.  I have NO idea how I'm going to get through a day without him here.  He's been doing everything that I can't do...  cooking, cleaning, playing with Zoe... and he's been there to give me massages when the pain gets to be too much.  I'm so afraid of what is going to happen when he's not around all day :(

Tonight at about 7pm was the worst pain I've felt in years...  I took 3 Tylenol (which I have been doing more and more frequently since it is the only pain reliever I can take) and iced the area for about 20 minutes. Waited a little while then used the ice again... I think I managed a 20 minute nap in between there.  That seemed to help enough so that I could sit on the couch again without so much pain.

Now I'm here on the computer.... first time since Friday night.  I'm trying to finish my Hood article that was due a day and a half ago.  Hopefully I can get that in by tomorrow.

SPD is such a terrible thing to go through during pregnancy.  If I ever meet another woman that goes through this in the future I am going to do everything in my power to help them out! I feel like I should start one of those movements to bring awareness to SPD since it is obvious that no Dr. in Sioux Falls has any idea what it is.

My birthday is in 3 days now... I keep praying that the pain lets up at least enough for me to be able to enjoy my birthday.  We'll see..

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