Saturday, May 21, 2011

Oh, California!

We just went out to CA back in late February and early March.  I was out there with Zoe for about 3 weeks, Gage was out there for about 4 days... we went to Disneyland, the beach, we ate real MEXICAN FOOD, had a birthday party for Zoe, and spent some great time with family and friends. It was a great trip. I'm so glad we went!

I thought that trip was going to be it for me and CA this year.  I thought wrong!

I'm going out there again next week! This time it will be just me. I'll be there from the 26th to the 29th.  I get back so early on the 29th it really is only going to be the 26th to the 28th.  This short trip is SO worth it though, I am so excited! I get to attend Noah and Elisa's High School Graduation!!  I didn't think I'd be able to, but I am and I am so thankful for that.  Yay!

If you don't know Noah and Elisa....  they are some friends of mine that I have known since they were in their Mama's tummy. Yep, that long.  These two are like siblings to me and the thought of missing such an important day in their lives was just awful. I am SO glad that I am able to go.

Other than the Graduation I have three things that must happen while I am out there:

1. Time well spent with my best friends! <3
2. Oceanside Beach and  Pier
3. MEXICAN FOOD! That is a must since we don't have any decent Mexican food here in Sioux Falls.

Usually I'd have Calvary Chapel Mission Hills on this list but not this time since I won't be there on a Sunday.

Yay, so exciting!


Sunday, May 15, 2011

Why I need to write...

You know... I used to update my blog just about every day from the age of 17 to about 23. Before that I wrote in a journal just about every day from ages 11 to 17. I was constantly writing. Now, it's been two and a half years since I've really written anything.

I've dabbled in personal blogging here and there over the past few years but I've never been consistent. I think now that I run a website, and I'm on Facebook, and Twitter, and Twitter (2 accounts), and I receive about 50 e-mails a day (ones that I do actually have to read, not junk mail), I'm on the computer enough. The thought of sitting down at the computer AGAIN and blogging about my thoughts really isn't all that appealing!

I really do need to get back into it though for two reasons.

1) My brain is overloaded. It is one big jumbled mess of ideas, hopes, desires, goals, plans, happiness, struggles,  insecurities, worry, fear, and pain. It's absolute chaos. I really have no idea what I'm doing at this point. Writing actually helps me to keep my thoughts organized so that I am able to stay focused.  Writing about my life helps me to see the big picture. It gives me me a clear view of what is happening in my life and as a result, I am less stressed and less depressed.

2) I NEED to talk!! I need to get my thoughts out of my head and express myself in some way. When you blog you can pour out your heart - share your thoughts and opinions and if someone wants to read it, then that's great, if not, it's still good. Sometimes just getting the words out there is enough.

I am at home all.the.time. It's very rare that I get out and spend time with someone that isn't my husband, daughter, or my in-laws.  I have SO much to do at home that socializing with friends is really the last thing on my list of priorities, and I don't think that is good. Fellowship is good and it is needed. Honestly, I'm desperate for friends and fellowship.  I grew up with so many friends around all the time, I had this HUGE support group that understood me and cared about me. I never felt the need to "impress" anyone in the way that I do now. I could just be myself and I knew they loved me and would support me through anything and everything I did. Now I'm in this new state surrounded by all new people (well, that I've known for 4 years rather than 20) and I feel like I can't be myself around anyone.  Why is that?

I hope that I can continue writing on this blog this time around.  Writing really does help, and I definitely need help.

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